Happy Belated Birthday and a Happy Valentine’s Day Mum

My mum would have turned 70 on Tuesday February 11. She died exactly two months to her 70^th birthday. Prior to her death, all her children had special plans for her. I remember discussing having a party for her once with my brother last year. Apparently, he was bringing his wife to join him in Canada and so we had to forgo that idea. I also remember us discussing bringing her to Canada for a surprise visit and we were thinking of how to raise funds for this surprise. Indeed we had discussed this exactly a week before she died. I had planned to tell him when he called again that I would contribute some amount to her trip because she would have passed through my place. (He was to call me on the day my mum died)

 I had also discussed a lot of ideas of surprise events for my mum with my sisters and my wife. But as fate will have it, she never lived to see these surprises. Instead, all the resources are being gathered to give her a befitting burial. I guess we should have done all these before she died perhaps when she was 65, 60 or maybe just every birthday. But who are we to blame the master of the universe who has his own reasons. This has taught me to do whatever I have to do to help anybody today. Tomorrow may never come and “Had I known” is always the language of the fool.

My mum and I, 1994.

All my life, only four people have taken my birthday seriously and have over the years showed a lot of concern on my birthday. Top on the list is my mum the other three are my two sisters and my wife. Growing up, my mum always had something special for me on my birthday. I remember her baking cake, bread or even preparing a special dish on my birthday. During my days there was nothing like taking someone out and even if there was, there was no "decent" place then in Hohoe where I grew up. I’m sure my mum wouldn’t even have the financial wherewithal to take me out on my birthday even if there was. In spite of all these, she always remembered my birthday. During my days in Kumasi High School, she didn’t visit me that regularly but on the few occasions she came, she timed her visits to coincide with my birthday. My mum has wished me a happy birthday every birthday of my life as far as I can remember. So have my two sisters and my wife since we started dating and subsequently married.

For some reasons which I don’t understand, I always forgot hers and so my sisters always called me to remind me to wish my mum a happy birthday. Last year, her birthday was in my plans but I remember my sisters and my wife had to call me early in the morning to remind me. I had an assignment at the White House so was very busy. I managed to call her around 5 pm EST  which was around 11 pm GMT. She was happy and told me she knew I was going to call her. After wishing her a happy birthday, our conversation ended up with her wishing me well and more blessings than I wished her.

My mum also wished all my siblings a happy birthday and gave them special treats in her own right. She always reminded me to call my siblings to wish them well on their birthdays. She kept the birthdays of almost all the people who stayed with her and other family members. She made birthdays simply enjoyable.

My mum and I on my graduation day, 2007

Growing up, we never placed so much value on Valentine’s Day. It was in Kumasi High School that I learnt to wish my mother a happy Val’s Day. I will talk about that one day. Ever since, I have always called my mum to wish her. Last year, when I called, she said she was expecting me to wish her and that I was the only person who makes her feel the spirit behind Valentine’s Day.  I felt proud.  I could not call her on her birthday and I can’t wish her a happy Valentine’s Day but all I can say is that, in spite of her financial difficulties at the time, she made our birthdays wonderful. We couldn’t make hers special as we planned. Just when we thought we were going to make this year a year to remember for her, she left.

Happy Belated Birthday Maa!!! Happy Valentine’s Day Mum!!! I know you are reading this with a smile. Just as you made my birthdays special I have learnt to do whatever I have to do now to make other people's days

special. I don’t have to be rich to make people happy. Thanks for all you’ve done.

Happy 70^th Anniversary.