I will Miss You Mum

Kyrɛ mase, Agya kyre mase,….

Mentume ntiase, Ɛyɛ me sum asem

Kyrɛ mase, Agya kyrɛ mase

These are lyrics from one of my mum’s favorite songs. A song performed by Prof Kofi Abraham, one of her favorite Ghanaian gospel artistes. Indeed, I cannot understand and only God can explain why this has to befall me now.

It was past midnight getting to dawn in the U.S while it was past midday getting to the evening in Ghana on that fateful December 12. Gertie had sent me a text message that our mother had been rushed to the hospital and Oforiwaa was with her and everything was being done to make sure she was fine. Alas, when her call came again, I thought it was going to be that she was ok and had been discharged from the hospital, No!!, it was the bad news. Our mother was no more. Indeed, I cannot understand, only God can explain.

Maa, as we affectionately called her, was everything to us. Right from our births, she trained us in the way of the Lord. She lived and walked in the biblical word that, “train up a child in the way he should go and when he’s old, he would not depart from it.” Right from Hohoe, where we spent a chunk of our teenage lives through Tetrem and later to Mampong, Maa always made sure we held our dawn prayers. This has become a part of our family traditions. Maa will always ask us to pray before we eat, drink and even before we go out from the house. She always prayed with us especially before we travel. Her constant fasting and prayers for us have kept us safe and sound.

My mum with my daughter Etornam Abena Amoakoa

Not only that, but she taught us to love the Lord and the things of the Lord. She was a Sunday school teacher, cell group leader and would later become a presbytress, an evangelist and a lay preacher. No wonder my sisters  Oforiwaa, Gertie and I found ourselves in the choir at the Great Commission Church back in the days at Hohoe and later Kumasi, Accra and Mampong. Gertie later became an award winning Sunday school teacher. Our dad always joked that our mum would want to greet everybody after church including the empty chairs and instruments before coming back home. Such was the love our mum had for the Lord. She told us to join any bible believing church where there was no GCCI. I am sure there will be friends at the funerals who would be there not because of anything but because we attend a church other than GCCI. She indeed trained us in the way of the Lord. This, we have also taken up and doing same with our children.

Maa, made sure we had the best of education. Even when our daddy lost his job and it was tough, our mother took it upon herself not only to educate us but to send us to the best schools. All of us attended private school at the time with their expensive school fees, Maa made sure she paid our fees. During the time in Hohoe, Happy Home Preparatory School was the best and most expensive private school. We all attended Happy Home. She singlehandedly saw to it that we had the best of secondary education even if she had to take loans. We all attended boarding schools and not only that but some of the best schools in the country. I attended Kumasi High School and my siblings attended Mawuli School. I remember vividly when she had to use part of her pension gratuity to pay for my admission fees at the Ghana Institute of Journalism. Today, we have education and are all doing well in our respective fields, thanks to our mum’s resolve to see us have the best of education.

My mum with three of her grandchildren, Afriyie, Edem and Ohemaa

She was very responsible making sure we never went hungry. Maa will go borrowing just to make sure we had food to eat or we had enough provisions to send to school. I remember those days when she would bring food from the kitchen of Hohoe E.P Secondary School (HEPSS) where she taught for almost two decades. I also recall when she brought home, food from her students’ practicals. She taught Home Economics and foods and nutrition was part of the courses that students had to cook.

I remember those days when we watched soccer games together. She knew the names of most of the players and it was fun watching games with her. I am a Chelsea fan and she, a Manchester United fan. She would call me especially on Mondays or Tuesdays either to tease me if Chelsea lost or to give excuses if United lost. We both loved Kotoko so it would all be praise for the team or consolation if the team either won or lost. No wonder her favorite television program was Sports Highlights on GTV. She was an all rounder. 

Maa made sure we were happy in our marriages. She told us, if she didn’t enjoy her marriage to the fullest, we had to. Maa supported us in diverse ways during our weddings. She signed Nana Yaw, Oforiwaa and my marriage certificates when we got married and had planned Gertie’s marriage with her and the husband. She actually proposed they did it in Christmas but she never lived to be a part of that. She was a friend to our spouses and a wonderful grandmother to our children. She witnessed the birth of all our children and bathed each and every single one of them spending at least three months with all of her grandchildren after birth. She had a strong bond with our children. They certainly will miss her. She always bought cookies and candies for our kids. She always pampered them. Who will do these things for them again? Indeed most people say you over pampered Edem, No you didn’t it was because you always wanted to do things you couldn’t for us for him.

Our mother also had a wonderful relationship with our friends. She was a mother to our friends as well. She shared in their victories as well as problems. She was in constant touch with them, calling them and making sure they were ok. Indeed, she called one of my childhood friends, Joel just a week before her death and they spoke for more than forty five minutes. Such was the bond our mum had with our friends. My friend and brother Kofi Sah was a close confidant of my mother. Eugene, Maxwell, Kwabena Ansah, Kwame Sarfo, Bob, Brother and my other friends have indeed lost a mother. Who will cook for them when they visit Mampong? Who will advise them when they have problems?

My mum with my other siblings, Nana Yaw, Oforiwaa, Gertie and me

One thing that she always emphasized on was for us her children to be united. She made sure we always came together to spend Christmas. This became a family tradition. I remember the wonderful cakes and other pastries she used to bake during our traditional family Christmas get-togethers. The food and the Christmas carols and the wonderful times we spent together as a family. One thing is for sure, things will never be the same again. Maa, you held us together and we promise to remain united. Our fervent desire and prayer had always been for our mother to live long and enjoy the fruits of her labour. But God knows best.

 In the few weeks before her death, anytime she called me, she emphasized that I always read my bible and pray. My wife was supposed to send the kids to Mampong for vacation. They had planned everything and had spoken on Tuesday then she died on Thursday. It is still sad to believe she is gone. Who am I to question God? I take consolation in the fact that you have gone to a better place; a place where you can pray and intervene for us better.

You always asked me to always sing a song I used to lead the choir sing back in Hohoe, “He will not let me fall”; it is a song I will always sing when things are good or bad. It was one of your favorite songs and you gave me presents anytime I led this song. I now understand why you loved this song. Good bye mum fare thee well I know He will indeed not let me fall.

I look up to the mountains; to hills I turn my eyes,

Who will come to help me? Can I find a place to hide?

 The Lord is there to help me and He will not let me fall,

He will not let me fall; he will not let me fall.

 He’s never weary and he will not let me fall